What?

The mortal drive for self sufficiency starts early and is utterly fascinating. Several weeks ago I watched my newborn granddaughter (like her brother before her) raise her head and give me that kind of sheepishly proud “Grandpa, look at me” look. (It’s a grandchild-grandpa thing that you may not be privileged to understand.) One of my life’s treats is to see folks discover and practice new capabilities and giftings so I get special thrills from things like that. Actually, it goes beyond humans and extends to fledgling birds, kittens and puppies, and a wide range of other creatures. The curve ascends rapidly and can cause a bit of concern when it gets to the “plugging in electrical appliances and climbing ladders by themselves” stages. I love to watch kids (and those with kid-like confidence and daring). It seems that we are wired with an “I can do it all by myself” or “You do it for me” (with no in between) from an early age. Our “life’s achievements all by ourselves” seem to rise with rapid, almost meteor shower-like bursts. I am sure we’ve all shared the pride in first shoe tying, first ABC’s, first bus ride to school, first “Twinkle, Twinkle” instrumental song, and many other firsts. (Many recorded in a secret keepsake book for posterity.) As I mentioned, this all seems like a curve to me, I think you call it a bell curve. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to have equal sides. It seems more like some of those new roller coasters at Dorney Park or Six Flags. They go almost straight up and then peak and then begin what can be a long endlessly terrifying drop down the other side. I guess things that I couldn’t do for myself started appearing early in life. Most were learned with a degree of embarrassment or humiliation although some were a short-lived source of pride. I remember “failing” an eye test in fourth grade and being one of the first to be able to have glasses. That pride quickly evaporated when I first heard the term “four eyes” and realized it wasn’t a compliment. I’ve been learning what I can’t do for myself ever since and the pace seems to be increasing. It’s easy to see this in others. I have a friend who is adapting reluctantly to crutches but has still figured out a way to drive. I see other stretch their arms to maximum length and beyond to focus on the newspaper. It’s almost humorous when it’s someone else. Unfortunately, as I get older my own limitations are many and seemingly growing exponentially. I now rely on “equipment” or medication to do a wide range of common things I did so well as a young child—things like sleeping, reading, carrying—those kinds of things. The latest came today with two tiny devices valued at a gold like price per ounce. You see, I could no longer shake my head the right way when people spoke to me. I was shaking my head up and down when the appropriate response to an inquiry should have been a back and forth “no.” If I wasn’t looking directly at someone, I was lost in my own garbled world. My verbal vocabulary had dwindled to the four letter word, “What?” I am learning that the secret to what folks call “success and happiness” is not what I can do. It has more to do with what I can’t do and am willing to swallow my pride and accept proper aid, assistance, and direction. There is so much that can be accomplished and enjoyed when I learn to embrace my limitations and recognize and relish the resources and folks that God has provided for a full and meaningful life.