Rote

I did a stupid thing yesterday. Maybe more than one, but at least one very significant one comes to mind. I live with a rather large and perpetually unfinished to-do list. I desperately try (unsuccessfully) to whittle it down each and every day. Yesterday’s list had more items than normal since I’ve had “lot on my plate” the past few days. I started with quite a few phone calls as I worked my way down the list. The first calls were personal in nature including one to my “bride.” Others were more businesslike in nature. I guess that’s when my problem began because in my hurry I didn’t mentally “shift gears.”
I had to place a telephone order with some folks that I’ve known and done business with for many years. It is a family business and I normally deal with the lady of the household. For some reason, there was no answer when I called. I got an answering machine message with “wait for the series of beeps.” Impatiently, right after the last one, I said, “Hi (the ladies name)” and placed my order. Unfortunately I didn’t stop there. For whatever reason I absentmindedly finished with the phrase I use with my wife and family members—“I love yah.” There was another “beep” and I belatedly realized that I had a very embarrassing problem with no way to undo it. And I thought email was the only irreversible communications trap!
My wife, thankfully, understood. (This wasn’t the first stupid thing I’ve said in our many years since meeting in grade school.) Eventually I got up the nerve and went to talk to the lady’s husband and he said, “I’ll handle it.” Now all that is left is to live it down and to make sure I don’t say something else “while on autopilot” in the future.
Even though I mean well, I now realize how often I can potentially say things out of habit or formality rather than personal expression. Many years ago when I was in a special meeting with other men in my church, I was seated next to an older (more mature) gent. We were both called on to pray with me leading. I “covered all the bases” to the best of my ability with the best most all inclusive prayer I could muster. When the “seasoned” gentleman started to pray all I remember him saying was, “Oh God… ” and then he just started sobbing uncontrollably. That made a profound and lasting impression on me that started me on a course that I obviously still haven’t mastered. I want to personally connect and not just say words.
I am increasingly aware of “rote” words, both good and bad. Normally, at the worst, “good” words can only be a source of embarrassment like I just experienced. More and more I see and hear “bad” words that are expressed verbally or written in public forums like Facebook. I suspect many are routinely delivered for temporary shock value. I hope they aren’t reflections of the heart but acknowledge that possibility. I see and hear those words in cutting, vulgar, and defamatory usage by a broader range of folks in increasingly diverse situations. I sadly suspect their usage has grown into a rote habit for many folks to be used more and more frequently.
I need to remember words, both good and bad, have such a potentially powerful lasting force. They shouldn’t be endlessly squandered as a rote trite commodity. As I learned, they can’t be taken back. In addition, in our communication with each other, they need to reflect the uplifting goodness that our hearts so crave. I must take the time to focus and positively target what I’m saying. Let’s speak positive and personal life into our world one person at a time.