Chitchat

My day starts well before dawn most days. I have two commuting friends that occasionally call with a welcome "Hello" between four-thirty and six AM. Sometimes I SKYPE (talk over the internet) to a friend in India too at that time while it is still afternoon there. Then it's on to whatever emails that my late night friends (and solicitors) have sent in the wee hours of the morning. Shortly after eight o'clock, I often am thrilled to get an "on the way to school" call from my two-year-old grandson Owen and my son David to keep me current on the latest backhoes, cranes, and busses in Pittsburgh. And that is just the start of my day!
When I reflect on the growing amount of contact and communications that most of us experience, it is overwhelming. One of my friends, who only within the past year discovered "texting" on his cell phone, was staggered to discover a bill for texting of well over $50.00. In fact he had over 250 text messages for the week he discovered the billing. Another friend from Tennessee posted the fact that he was in contact with 396 friends. Some of my younger, really socially active, Face book friends now exceed 600 friends on their Friend's List. I sometimes have to remind myself that I grew up in the era where you picked up the phone to make a call and told the friendly all-knowing operator you wanted to call "Keystone 8-6284" (or just the person's name if you forgot the number!)
When I talk to my daughter Susan on the phone, she often puts me on hold because someone in the household where she lives was calling her from another area of the home with a request. I experienced the same thing last evening visiting a friend and seeing calls to his daughter on the second floor of their home. Increasingly, in many instances, our contact involves no real personal contact even in our private homes.
In addition, much of what we discuss is far from personal and revolves around soccer schedules, our "to do" lists, social trivia, or even cunning ways to elude the other person if we haven't already done that through the power of caller ID and call waiting. With all this seeming communication by phone, internet and a flurry of contacts, you'd think we'd have strong relationships. Amazingly, one of the most common postings I find on Face book is "I'm bored" or "I'm lonely." So often it's covered by amazing amounts of seeming communications, but little deep lasting satisfying relationships.
As we age and fewer friends are able or willing to spend time with us, the silence is deafening. The transition is often like hitting a brick wall in its seeming abruptness. When we finally have the time for deep relationships, none of the rest of the world wants to pause to partake as they continue their racing activity and chatter. Wander around any Senior Citizen's center or nursing home to see this for yourself.
I'd like to encourage you to evaluate and perhaps even informally prioritize your most important relationship(s). Reintroduce the concept of being selective with quality over quantity. Invest undivided time, attention and meaningful caring, not just mere random "dialog," in those who cherish you the most. Let's put the "relate" back in relationships. It's awesome how great it feels to really invest in genuinely focused "one on one" caring and patient thoughtful selective communications.