I woke up this morning thinking about an upcoming event that will be occurring in several weeks—a 45th anniversary of sorts. No, it’s not my wedding anniversary. I woke up thinking about a gangly fuzzy-faced 17 year-old kid joining the military. I specifically thought about barracks inspections and especially my first one. My day-to-day personal belongings were all to be displayed a specific way in a foot locker precisely positioned at the foot of my bunk. Many of the items I never used in order to keep them “inspection ready.” In order to do that, we even went so far as to share shoe polish and such- even a “community” toothbrush. Since I had no need to shave, my razor and blades also stayed “inspection ready” along with my toothbrush.
Standing at attention at the foot of my bunk for my first inspection was a horrifying experience. The officer walking through our barracks stopped at my foot locker and bent down seemingly hyper-focus on my razor. He held it up, looked me in the eye, and asked if I had used this razor this morning. I responded with a “mistruth”. (Sounds better than a lie.) “Yes Sir,” I answered, desperately hoping my voice wouldn’t crack or quaver. My heart dropped as the officer inserted a new blade into the razor forcing out the safety blank routinely inserted into new razors for safe shipping. My punishment: dry shaving with each step while marching the following day. I have always been challenged in the rhythm and cadence department and marching was a struggle under normal circumstances. “Your left, your left; your left, right, left”—or was it the other way around? I would have looked better if I had been mauled by a lion than trying to shave while marching!
I no longer have to march in formation but I still continue to have to shave. I have continued the tradition of cutting myself while shaving using every generation of razor that Gillette has produced over the decades. (Maybe the new Mach Five to be released in several weeks will be different). In fact, I am embarrassed to say that I never taught my two sons to shave precisely because I never figured it out myself. I did pay silent penance several years ago and bought them both new generation electric razors. I also bought one for myself. You guessed it; somehow I continued to cut myself with an electric razor.
In spite of initiating my ill-fated shaving tradition, I am grateful to the military for some other areas of my life. I am severely musically challenged and I am in awe of those that play musical instruments. (I hope I don’t have to play a harp in heaven- at least with my existing lack of talent). I especially cannot comprehend the co-ordination required of those in marching bands who both play and march at the same time. As you might guess, there is no way that I would ever choose to learn to march under any circumstances. Although my memory is a bit fuzzy (no pun intended), I now think back to the horrors of a fuzzy-faced kid shaving while marching and realize it was a marker in my life. It was my introduction as a self-centered adolescent teen to a transition that I continue to try to master till this day. I started to learn, and continue to learn, the value of teamwork. My abbreviated athletic career was spent mostly on the bench so unlike most folks, I never mastered teamwork there. Instead, I learned teamwork during basic military training along with the value of marching in unison to “someone else’s drummer.” Those values really came into focus not long afterwards when I descended past the rice paddies into Saigon’s Ton Se Nut Air Base and a whole new scary world. My appreciation of others and marching together as a team of fellow human beings suddenly became invaluable and has been growing ever since.
I value and treasure my independence. The more independent I become, the less I am inclined to go through life’s lessons that aren’t of my choosing. I would never volunteer to take marching lessons, especially knowing I might expose myself as an incorrigible klutz. There are so many valuable lessons in life hidden where I would never knowingly venture. Seems the most needed are in areas I am most inclined to avoid. Guess to really advance I need to relinquish my exclusive “right” to always choose what is best (and easiest) for me.
